A new fresh start

I used to be a fitness fanatic, conscious of what I ate, I used to go to karate classes, dance classes and participated a numerous times in the walk the talk 702. I got depressed and gave up on myself, I gave up on life, and stopped doing the things I loved... that was in 2012. 

I felt like I was constantly walking in darkness, trying to find my way out, but I was trapped, and I would find myself crawling back to my dark hole. I would cry myself to sleep every night, my pillow was my solace, it knew my pain and suffering.

I was an emotional wreck,  I gave up on God, I tried to quit varsity, I couldn't face the world anymore, it was so dark and gloomy. I wanted to dig myself a hole and never emerge from it.

I don't know what kept me strong, what gave me hope to look forward to another day. I could have taken  my life, every time I thought things could be better, they became worse.  I kept hoping for a better day.
During that year, I lost my great grandmother,that was not the cause of my depression, she was old, 97  years old, always in pain, she couldn't do anything for herself, and she was longing for God to take her. I cried, I had spent a lot of time with this person, all my life to be precise... for her to leave me. 

That year I lost a best friend, she was also not the cause of my depression, I cried when she moved to another country, even though we speak through emails, it's not the same, and I found myself longing for her, feeling lonely without her, she was like a sister to me... haven't seen her since.

Whenever I lose someone I was once connected to, I cry, even if I've know them for a couple of days, weeks or months, I cry, and it takes me a while to forget about them, hence I try my out most best not to get too emotionally attached to them, I miss them in a way that I can't comprehend.

So... I'm dedicating this year and the rest of my life to stay healthy and happy. Though I cannot predict what tomorrow holds, I can only Hope that I don't become that emotional wreck I was a few years ago. I want to be happy, and healthy.  This means, going back to my dancing and running, eating my greens and drinking more water. Morning walks also help me connect with God. I dedicate this year to God, peace, health, wealth and happiness.
So I had decided to cut my hair on the 2nd of January this year, the last time I did, I was in grade 5... primary school. I felt like I needed a change, I wanted something new, fresh, and I'm embracing my short hair! Planning on keeping it short for a while, I think this hair cut suits me, your thoughts? 

Stay blessed!!!

[Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn]

2018- a year of abundance

I declare and decree that 2018 will be a year of abundance... abundance in God's blessings and mercies, abundance in love, wealth,health, peace, happiness, breakthroughs and spirituality.

This is the year we allow God's will be done in our lives, it is important to do so, God is the pillar of our lives,our lives are not ours but belong to Him. Let us serve Him, honour Him, follow Him and do what He has called us to do.

We cannot start our days and end them without prayer! We are connecting with God in 2018.
We are carrying our crosses and following Him.
We are achieving our dreams.
We further our studies.
We motivate the youth.
We leave toxic relationships.
We are falling in love.
We are getting married.
We are making money.
We fulfil God's purpose in our lives.
We are meditating on His word day and night.
We remain positive.
We befriend positive people.
We embrace everything Godly.

In 2018, we help the needy, those who cant help themselves,
We portray Jesus in all we do,
We don't judge, we advice.
We don't hate, we embrace
We dont hurt, we comfort.
We don't tolerate people, we celebrate them

Again, we portray Jesus Christ in all we do!!!

Stay blessed.

[Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn]

2017

Firstly, I would like to start of by saying that God is great.

God has never disappointed me.

God has always made a way for me.

I appreciate every little effort that God has made in my life. God continues to show His love for me everyday. He continues to bless me and walk with me where ever I go, protecting and guiding me because I am His. And I would like to say, I truly appreciate that.
I'm not perfect, I'm a sinner, I have a done a lot of bad things that I'm not proud of, however, I am willing to walk with God just like Enoch did, to walk in God's light, God's path.  I am willing to surrender my body, heart and soul to God in order to persue a strong relationship with Him.

I am asking that in this year of [2018] God enables me to reflect the Lord Jesus Christ in all that I do, I want to spread His word better than I did last year, and I want to give my life anew to Him. Without Him I wouldn't be where I am today.

I have learnt to surrender all my problems, sorrows, suffering and peace to Him, I've learned to pray harder, whether I'm happy or in pain because Jesus is the source of my life, Jesus is my only Hope! He is our Anchor in the midst of life's storm! He is the Anchor that steadies our souls.

2017 has been a good year to me, better than all the previous years and I pray and hope that 2018 Will be much better. 

2017 has taught me SELF WORTH.

To love myself, 

To never allow anyone to take advantage of me.

That I matter, I am important

I must NEVER allow myself to be an option

And that I was placed on this earth for a purpose.

God has gifted me with unique abilities & talents! I must never allow someone to make me feel insignificant!!

I wouldn't have realised that if I walked this journey alone, I walk with Christ, and he continues to speak to me, and constantly reminds me how wonderfully and fearfully made I am.

2017 has taught me more about CARING.

I realised that I tend to put other people's feelings first than my own, especially when it comes to my learners. They can be very disruptive and ill mannered at times, but I realised that I love and care for them, most my kids  come from disadvantaged backgrounds, some have gone through similar things that I've also experienced, and some have gone through worse. I laugh with them, make jokes with them, I learn with them and cry with them. It's so important for them to realise that someone truly cares, I try by all means to treat them with respect and love. And I hope that through all their circumstances, they will grow up to be better people in the future.  I hope that they hear God's voice through their circumstances.

God has led me to help a few individuals who are really in need, children who need love, who need care, who need support, God has led me to identify a few individuals and I have tried to help those individuals through God's power and might and I hope that this year in 2018, I do better than I did last year, I pray that God gives me the strength that I need to pursue what he has called me to do, because my mission here on earth is to serve God through serving His people.

2017 has taught me to be able to LET GO.

I have lost so many people in my life, people that I've truly loved and cared for, I've lost them, and it's okay.

I have learnt to let go, to let go of anything that does not make me happy, whether it be people or my thoughts. I've learnt to let go and to be at peace with myself. Life made me realise that people have different destinations, we are not meant to go the same route, we are different and our journeys are different and it's ok it's, ok to lose the people you love sometimes, it's ok to let go.

We are not meant to live together forever, sometimes the people we love die and we have to live with that, we have to accept that it is fate, life is not fair and it's ok, it's not supposed to be. Maybe God is trying to protect us from getting hurt by people who claim to love us, we will never know why we tend to lose these people in our walk of Life, God has the answers and we will never know them but it's ok.

I broke up with the guy I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, after four years of our relationship, we broke up. I thought it was the best thing to do since we constantly argue over the same thing, it gets tiring, and I didn't qthink I would be able to explain myself to him about the same issue all my life. We broke up, I cried, and it's okay. Life goes on, Jesus heals. I wish him nothing but happiness and peace.

2017 has taught me to  LET GO AND LET GOD.

It has taught me to Let God handle my life, I'm done trying to walk this journey of life alone. I need Him, I need His advice to make it out there, after all, He is all that I have, and I have to listen to His voice attentively.

I have learnt to let God's will be done in my life, not mine.
  2017 was the best year for me.

It was the year of growing in CHRIST.

Year of KNOWING MY WORTH.

Year of learning to let go.

A year of healing.

A year of taking risks, opportunities and gaining my strength.

It was a year of love, peace and happiness.

All thanks to the Messiah🙌

[Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn]

Update on my work

This blog post was rouge posted on the 29 of October 2017 on WordPress...
[ https://nonkululekomakhubu.wordpress.com/ ]

I know that I haven’t updated my blog for a very long  time. I was lazy and busy but I’m back and I hope that my readers haven’t given up on me.

The last time I blogged was in July 16 2016… I haven’t abandoned my blog, will not. I actually enjoy writing and reading what I write. 

So let me quickly update you on what I’ve been up to.
Nothing much…

 I only realised now how much I love my job, actually, I’ve been enjoying what I do since July last year. I’m teaching grade 10’s, these learners are always challenging me, intellectually. I learn something new from them, everyday. They are actually keeping me on my toes. 

Teaching is a demanding job, one has to prepare lesson plans daily, ensure that in my lessons I include all learners from different socio-economic backgrounds, learners with barriers to learning, gifted learners, ill disciplined learners and learners who have emotional and behavioral disorders. It’s tough… really, but I enjoy what I do. As a teacher, my role is to evaluate each child’s individual needs and strengths. Then I develop  strategies that will include all my learners from diverse backgrounds.

One class has an average of 45 learners, big group of learners, But quite manageable. Per class you would find that there are two or three boys who are ill disciplined… always disrespectful, disruptive and never complete their work. I still haven’t mastered strategies of dealing with such learners. I always try to calm them down, give them leadership roles within the classroom but it does not always work. The last thing I want to do, is to send a child outside the classroom. They are at school to learn and it’s  my role as a teacher to ensure that their needs are being met.
I remember when I started teaching, I was young, shy and clueless. I didn’t have that confident of standing in front of my learners and teach. They didn’t like me then, almost all of them because I had replaced their favorite teacher who went to study further. So most of them were upset. I used to  come home from work crying, cause  I couldn’t take the abuse I was getting from them, but towards the end of the term, they had learned to love and appreciate me, and I have learned to claim my position as a teacher and teach them.
The hardest part about my job is not having to deal with disobedient learners, preparing lesson plans, marking over 350 scripts x6, having to deal with colleagues or take the abuse from learners.

The hardest part about my job is in finding the root cause of their contumacious behavior. What they tell me, is beyond me. They happen to leave me helpless and they make me realise how cruel the world is.

I love kids, I really do. I believe in them, I believe that they will be the ones fixing our forefathers mistakes, our mistakes if ever we fail. I believe that they have the capability of changing the world to the better, of rewriting history rather than only learning from it.

Our children are going through a lot, I’ve stopped questioning them about their backgrounds because whatever they tell me, leaves me emotional and powerless.

Learners are being raped on a daily basis by people they trust, their fathers, brothers and uncles. Some are HIV positive, and they have to live with this virus for the rest of their lives. Some deal with abusive parents, step parents and other relatives who are supposed to be loving and protecting them, but they leave these children broken and shattered. Some.. It’s just external environmental factors… gangs, crime, poverty and peer pressure. I pray for them everyday, to find peace in their lives, to heal, to find God.  I pray God hears their cries and protects them, I. Pray God rescues them from whatever situations they face. I pray God have mercy on them. Most importantly, I pray that they never lose faith in God because without Him, we are lost. I pray that God shows them that He’s a miraculous working God, He can turn our pain into gain, our suffering into joy, we just need to focus on Him, He hears our cries, and like He said, He will never leave nor forsake us. 

I understand that, before we get to our breakthroughs, we first have to come across potholes, raging waters, disappointments and the state of giving up because all hope is lost, but what some people go through, is unbearable. Especially children. They are the most vulnerable ones, and they are mostly the ones who commit suicide. 

I’m scared, I’m scared that one of my learners will not be able to handle what they go through, and they end up taking their lives. That’s why I pray for them, I’ve fallen in love with my learners, all of them. I make sure that every morning I get up I pray for them, we pray together in the classroom and I pray for them when I’m about to sleep.

Prayer… can move mountains. 

Now if prayer can move mountains, imagine how it can change someone’s life around. It is important to pray for one another, to pray for people we don’t even know, for it is in prayer that we have union with God.
If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear. But certainly God has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, Nor His mercy from me! – Psalm 66:18-20

Nonkululeko Evelyn Makhubu.

Witchcraft, i just don't get it...

Imagine you are sleeping at night, and out of the blue you hear footsteps on your roof.
What do you do?
Let me tell you what I'd do.

I'd pray

Witches are scared of Jesus.
There is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved. (Acts 4:12).

I don't understand why people perform witchcraft.
Why they want to hurt another person.
Why they want to see another person suffer.
Why they want to kill another person.

These people are not happy with themselves , thus the need to crush another person's spirit.
Because they feed off our pain and suffering.
They feed off our sadness, tears and blood.
These people are not of God.

I will never understand why people visit witches to cast a spell on other people.
Why don't they live their lives and forget about other people?
If that person has done you wrong, why can't you pray for them?

Many people are victims of witchcraft today.
Because of jealous people who are society's losers and underachievers.
In have read/heard many scary stories about witchcraft.
Like burying an animal/ human head in one's yard preventing them from e.g getting a job, becoming successful, getting married etc.
Not only do they bury animal or human heads, but they do other things that I really don't want to know about.
Why would you consult a witch to do that to your neighbour? Friend? Sister? Or cousin? Or whoever?

If you have been a victim of witchcraft/ someone has cast a spell on you and your family,

Please know that we worship a God who does not sleep nor slumber.

A God who sees what is happening during the day when we are awake, and at night when we are sleeping.

A God who will never forsake nor abandon us.

A God who will protect you all the days of your life.
A loving God, who will not allow you to suffer as a result of your enemies.

I want you to know how powerful Jesus' name is.
Jesus' name heals.
It makes the demons tremble with fear.
It breaks all the curses cast upon you.
It drives out demons!

There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain!
Thus no sword formed against you shall prosper!
Because you belong to the God of Abraham.
Of Elijah.
Of King Solomon.
Of David.
Of Noah.

And most importantly, of Jesus Christ!

So do not be afraid, because He who watches over you does not sleep nor slumber.
Put all your faith in him.
Be firm in your faith, prayer and in God.
Do not be afraid. "I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

If you have been a victim of witchcraft, please pray with me.

Father God,
Today I come before you and I'm asking for your guidance and protection.

I break and release myself from every curse spoken against me and my family in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of poverty and suffering in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself from all curses of witchcraft, sorcery and divination in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of debt and lack in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of premature death, accidents and mental illness in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of rejection cast upon us, in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of unemployment, in the name of Jesus Christ.
I break and release myself and family from all curses of homelessness, and diseases in the name of Jesus Christ.
I reverse all the curses cast upon me and family, in Jesus name.
I pray and hope that you continue to guide and protect me all the days of my life.
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen. 

I want to share with you today a few verses, hope you find meaning in them.

Psalm 109.

Of David. A psalm.

My God, whom I praise, 1
do not remain silent,
for people who are wicked and deceitful 2
have opened their mouths against me;
they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
With words of hatred they surround me; 3
they attack me without cause.
In return for my friendship they accuse me, 4
but I am a man of prayer.
They repay me evil for good, 5
and hatred for my friendship.
<em><strong>Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy; 6</strong></em>
<em><strong>let an accuser stand at his right hand.</strong></em>
<em><strong>When he is tried, let him be found guilty, 7</strong></em>
<em><strong>and may his prayers condemn him.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May his days be few; 8</strong></em>
<em><strong>may another take his place of leadership.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May his children be fatherless 9</strong></em>
<em><strong>and his wife a widow.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May his children be wandering beggars; 10</strong></em>
<em><strong>may they be driven from their ruined homes. [a]</strong></em>
<em><strong>May a creditor seize all he has; 11</strong></em>
<em><strong>may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May no one extend kindness to him 12</strong></em>
<em><strong>or take pity on his fatherless children.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May his descendants be cut off, 13</strong></em>
<em><strong>their names blotted out from the next generation.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD; 14</strong></em>
<em><strong>may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May their sins always remain before the LORD, 15</strong></em>
<em><strong>that he may blot out their name from the earth.</strong></em>
<em><strong>For he never thought of doing a kindness, 16</strong></em>
<em><strong>but hounded to death the poor</strong></em>
<em><strong>and the needy and the brokenhearted.</strong></em>
<em><strong>He loved to pronounce a curse— 17</strong></em>
<em><strong>may it come back on him.</strong></em>
<em><strong>He found no pleasure in blessing—</strong></em>
<em><strong>may it be far from him.</strong></em>
<em><strong>He wore cursing as his garment; 18</strong></em>
<em><strong>it entered into his body like water,</strong></em>
<em><strong>into his bones like oil.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, 19</strong></em>
<em><strong>like a belt tied forever around him.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May this be the LORD’s payment to my accusers, 20</strong></em>
<em><strong>to those who speak evil of me.</strong></em>
<em><strong>But you, Sovereign LORD, 21</strong></em>
<em><strong>help me for your name’s sake;</strong></em>
<em><strong>out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.</strong></em>
<em><strong>For I am poor and needy, 22</strong></em>
<em><strong>and my heart is wounded within me.</strong></em>
<em><strong>I fade away like an evening shadow; 23</strong></em>
<em><strong>I am shaken off like a locust.</strong></em>
<em><strong>My knees give way from fasting; 24</strong></em>
<em><strong>my body is thin and gaunt.</strong></em>
<em><strong>I am an object of scorn to my accusers; 25</strong></em>
<em><strong>when they see me, they shake their heads.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Help me, LORD my God; 26</strong></em>
<em><strong>save me according to your unfailing love.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Let them know that it is your hand, 27</strong></em>
<em><strong>that you, LORD, have done it.</strong></em>
<em><strong>While they curse, may you bless; 28</strong></em>
<em><strong>may those who attack me be put to shame,</strong></em>
<em><strong>but may your servant rejoice.</strong></em>
<em><strong>May my accusers be clothed with disgrace 29</strong></em>
<em><strong>and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.</strong></em>
<em><strong>With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; 30</strong></em>
<em><strong>in the great throng of worshipers I will praise him.</strong></em>
<em><strong>For he stands at the right hand of the needy, 31</strong></em>
<em><strong>to save their lives from those who would condemn them.</strong></em>

<em><strong>Psalm 54.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Save me, O God, by your name; 1</strong></em>
<em><strong>vindicate me by your might.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Hear my prayer, O God; 2</strong></em>
<em><strong>listen to the words of my mouth.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Arrogant foes are attacking me; 3</strong></em>
<em><strong>ruthless people are trying to kill me—</strong></em>
<em><strong>people without regard for God.[c]</strong></em>
<em><strong>Surely God is my help; 4</strong></em>
<em><strong>the Lord is the one who sustains me.</strong></em>
<em><strong>Let evil recoil on those who slander me; 5</strong></em>
<em><strong>in your faithfulness destroy them.</strong></em>
<em><strong>I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you; 6</strong></em>
<em><strong>I will praise your name, LORD, for it is good.</strong></em>
<em><strong>You have delivered me from all my troubles, 7</strong></em>
<em><strong>and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes.</strong></em>

<em><strong>He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. Psalm 62:2.</strong></em>

<em><strong>Rom12:19. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord".</strong></em>

<em><strong>2 Timothy 4:18 . The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom . To him be the glory forever and ever . Amen </strong></em>

<em><strong>When the enemy shall come in like a flood , the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard' against him. Isaiah 59:19.</strong></em>

<span class="post_sig">Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn.</span>

Happy new year!!!

Hello all.
I know I'm a bit late  for this, but really, I just wanted to wish you all a Happy new year!

As we enter the year of 2015, I wish happiness, peace and love in your lives.
I pray and hope that God guides and protects you all the time.
That He will never leave you by His side.
That He will never abandon nor forsake you.
And that He continues to bless you as He has blessed you and your family all this time.

I wish the same for my family and I.
Most importantly, I pray and hope that God protects me and my family from the devil and his people.
And that I never lose my faith in Him.

<em><strong>20-fix-me</strong></em>

There are so many things I didn't do right the past year, that I wish to mend this year.
And I'm asking God to give me the strength I so desperately need to make things right.
I had a rocky relationship with God and the son, my faith was shaken and there was a time I felt like I have lost my faith completely in God. This is my chance to make things right with God.
And I hope He allows me.

Broken trust, and relationship with friends and family.
That too I need to mend, cause no man is an island.
------------------------------------------------------------

I hope 2015 will open doors for me.
There are so many things I would love to achieve this year, but can only do them if God gives me the strength.
Because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

On the second of January I had a visit.
From a guy in the neighborhood.
He had come to visit his family only to find out that they no longer stay here.
They sold their house and went to live in KZN.

He was crying. And couldn't believe what his family has done to him.
This guy is a drug addict, he's 22 years old and is homeless, wandering the streets of Joburg.
He had come to wish his mom a happy new year.
Only for him to find the sad news.

He told me that he wants to quit drugs, get clean and find himself a job, but can only do that if he'd stay with his mom in KZN.
I gave him his sisters phone numbers, some bread and R10 to go back to Joburg.
Contacted his sister about the matter, who seemed&nbsp; not to care.

I am really sad about what they did to this guy.
No human being deserves this.
It's not easy for an addict to quit drugs.
And thus these people need patience and love.

The very same week I met his ex friend, who also was a drug addict.
He's clean now, and has been clean for two years 4 months.
Big ups to him.
Unfortunately for him, he doesn't get the support he's longing for at home.
His mom is an alcoholic, always drunk and I doubt they hardly even have time to talk.
He has a part time job, trying to fend for himself and his family.

<em><strong>Maybe you're wondering why am I telling you this?</strong></em>
Well, like I said before, I'm a humanitarian, I hate seeing people suffer.
I want to Start an organization where I can empower the youth, mainly teen moms and former drug addicts.
Since we can't all be academically gifted, I think they need to acquire business skills so they can be able to start and manage their own businesses.
It doesn't have to be a big business, but they can start small and grow from there.

<em><strong>I don't really have a vision of what I want to do in practice but what I know is I want to empower the youth.</strong></em>

I have been talking about opening my orphanage for a while now.
This all can't be done in a year, but I think it's about time I put my plan into action.
This year I'm hoping to raise funds for both my orphanage and youth organization.
I'm planning on getting sponsors, and necessary information about the matter so I can be able to implement my plan into action.
And no, not all of this will be achieved in a year.
It's a ten year plan, but I'm praying and hoping that in five years I'll be seeing progress regarding my project.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope God will be with me as I am trying to secure a job a teacher this year.
I've been waiting so long for this opportunity.
This is where I feel like I will be reflecting Christ in my work.
As a teacher, I will be playing many roles to the learners I will be teaching.
Not only will I be a teacher to them, but I will also be a counsellor, a friend, a mother, sister, I will always be playing pastoral roles.
This is the platform whereby I will be enabling my learners to succeed, to realise their dreams and goals, but most importantly, their worth.

There are so many kids suffering in the township schools.
Not having lunch boxes/ money.
Coming to school hungry, with torn clothes and dirty clothes.
I know teachers don't earn much, I don't come from a well off family, and yes I have siblings who depend on me.
But.....despite all this, I want to put a smile on these kids.
I know I cannot change the world, make every learner happy.
But I really want to help those kids from disadvantaged homes by: bringing them lunch boxes everyday, maybe two slice of peanut buttered bread, which is better than nothing. : buy them a few toiletries, such as a bath soap, Colgate, and vaseline.

I want to help these kids because I have been there myself.
Going to school hungry, coming back home to an empty house.
Going barefooted to school.
With torn and dirty uniform.
I've been there.
And this impacted on me negatively, almost quit school because of this.
Seeing rich kids with their fancy backpacks and delicious lunch boxes.
I've been there and it hurts.
No child deserves this, and even though I cannot save every child from experiencing this road, I can make a big difference on the child I will be helping.

<em><strong>So as I walk into this teaching profession, I hope and pray that God walks with me as I try to secure a job, and that He blesses me in all that I do. And that I reflect the LORD Jesus Christ wherever I go and in all that I do.</strong></em>
<strong>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong>
Today I want to thank time and thank God for what he has done for me.
For protecting me all the time.
For walking, talking and laughing with me.
For being patient with me.
For giving me a second chance.

I remember I had late classes last year.
The latest class I had was from 18:50- 20:35.
And it was worse in winter since it gets dark quickly.
I saw myself walking down the Mandela bridge at about 9:15, I heard it was dangerous.
But my battery was low before I could even make transport arrangements.
I walked down the Mandela bridge to Bree street, all alone.
I was the only person in that bridge.
It was dark and quiet.
There were also days I had to leave the house at 4:30 am.
Walk the darkest streets of Soweto all by myself.
But I wasn't scared because I knew that the LORD was walking with me. 2 Corinthians 5:7 - (For we walk
by faith, not by sight:).

In this prayer bellow, I am praying for anyone who is longing for God.
Who wants to form a relationship and turn to God.
Who has lost faith in God.
Who has sinned and needs to be saved.

<strong><em>So here it goes..</em></strong>..

<strong><em>Our Father who art in Heaven.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Today I acknowledge that you are the alpha and omega</em></strong>
<strong><em>That you are holy.</em></strong>
<strong><em>That you are love, peace and happiness.</em></strong>
<strong><em>That you are JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM, The Lord thy sanctifier</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are JEHOVAH-ROHI, The Lord my shepherd</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH, The Lord who is present</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are JEHOVAH-RAPHA, The Lord our healer</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU, The Lord our righteousness</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are JEHOVAH-JIREH, The Lord will provide</em></strong>
<strong><em>JEHOVAH-NISSI, The Lord our banner</em></strong>
<strong><em>JEHOVAH-SHALOM, The Lord is peace</em></strong>
<strong><em>You are EL-ELYON, The most high God</em></strong>
<strong><em>And thus you deserve to be praised!!!</em></strong>

<strong><em>Dear God</em></strong>
<strong><em>I come before you today and I confess that I am a sinner and I am asking for forgiveness of my sins.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I have done so many things that do not please you.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I gave into temptation, and lied, cheated </em></strong>
<strong><em>I ask you to cleanse me with the blood of Jesus Christ</em></strong>
<strong><em>To wash away my sins and make me whole</em></strong>
<strong><em>And create in me a pure heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)</em></strong>

<strong><em>Dear God.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Today I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I am grateful that you sent your only begotten son to die for my sins.</em></strong>
<strong><em>And I am grateful for the blood of the lamb that was shed on the cross for me.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I am grateful for the sun that shines during the day and the moon that brightens the night.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I am grateful for the air that I breathe, for another opportunity you give me each and every morning to start afresh.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I am grateful for my family, that even though we struggle to survive each and everyday we still remain tight because of the love we share.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I am grateful for the shelter that you have provided me with, for my daily bread.</em></strong>
<strong><em>But most importantly, I am grateful for the guidance and protection that you continuously provide me with.</em></strong>

<strong><em>Dear God.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Many people did not wake up today,</em></strong>
<strong><em>Many are fighting for their last breath,</em></strong>
<strong><em>And I really appreciate it that you have chosen me to further experience this gift called life.</em></strong>
<strong><em>There were days I thought I couldn't make it,</em></strong>
<strong><em>Days I thought it was impossible</em></strong>
<strong><em>And days I wanted to commit suicide</em></strong>
<strong><em>But through all this, you continue to show me the way that I'm supposed to walk in.</em></strong>
<strong><em>And you manage to replace the negative thoughts that the devil implants in my mind.</em></strong>
<strong><em>And you defeat the devil and give me hope, and strength each and everyday.</em></strong>

<strong><em>And I am grateful for that.</em></strong>

<strong><em>Dear God.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Today I am praying for those who have completely lost their faith in you.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I pray and hope that you reveal your greatness to them and show them that you are there and you truly care for them.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Today I pray for those who are in hospitals, who are sick in their homes and believe they will never see a tomorrow</em></strong>
<strong><em>I pray that you show them that you are a God of miracles, and in you there is life.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Today I pray for all those who are mourning, I hope you will be with them, and comfort them.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I pray for those who are homeless, who are lost, who are being kidnapped, rapped</em></strong>
<strong><em>All those who are victims of human trafficking, all those who are being enslaved, </em></strong>
<strong><em>I pray and hope that you rescue them from every situation that they are in, I pray that you bring them home safely, and that you give them strength to overcome any obstacle they come across to.</em></strong>
<strong><em>I&nbsp; pray for all those who are in jails right now, that you may get inside their minds and hearts, and enable them to turn to you. Wash them O God, cleanse them by the blood of Jesus Christ.</em></strong>
<strong><em>And most importantly, I pray for the orphans and little children</em></strong>
<strong><em>That they may continue to know you, to love you and place their faith and hope in you.</em></strong>

<strong><em>In Jesus name we pray.</em></strong>
<strong><em>Amen.</em></strong>
<strong><em>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</em></strong>

<strong>Bucket list.</strong>

I'm new at this.
Anyway, I thought I should create a bucket list,
And include some of the tasks I would love to do before I die
Or in a monthly basis, or each week.
I will keep on updating you on some of the tasks I have completed.

<a href="http://nonkululekomakhubu.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-my-bucket-list-1024x548.jpg"><img title="my-bucket-list-1024x548.jpg" class="alignnone size-full" alt="image" src="http://nonkululekomakhubu.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-my-bucket-list-1024x548.jpg" /></a>

1. Buy a beggar a Burger once a month.
2. Open an orphanage.
3. Be a missionary and spread the word of God.
4. Skydive.
5. Scuba dive.
6. Personally Know Someone Famous.
7. Climb mountain Kilimanjaro.
8. Learn a foreign language.
9. Shower in a Waterfal.
10. Volunteer in an old age home. (Which I have done six times already).
11. Run a marathon.
12. Spend time at a concentration camp.
13.&nbsp; Save someone’s life
14. Go treasure hunting.
15. Pay a disadvantaged child's school fees.
16. Own a parrot and teach it how to talk.
17. Buy a disadvantaged child brand new school uniform.
18. Buy my mom a house.
19. Watch the sunset on a beach on my honeymoon.
20. Run my own successful business
21. Be the best teacher in the world.
22. Stand beside the Christ the Redeemer statue.
23. Complete a 40 day fast.
24. Adopt a child.
25. Graduate with a master’s degree.
26. Host a Christmas party for the elderly and the homeless.
27. Ride a camel in a dessert.
28. Pray in the holy land
29. Preach in a foreign country
30. Start a scholarship fund/program.
31. Write a children’s book
32. Write a song.
33. Knit a jersey.
34. Be an organ donor.
35. Get VIP passes to a show.
36. Be a surrogate mother.
37.&nbsp; Stand next to the statue of liberty.
38. Read the whole bible.
39. Pose naked for charity.
40. Explore a cave.

<a href="http://nonkululekomakhubu.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-images-3.jpeg"><img title="images-3.jpeg" class="alignnone size-full" alt="image" src="http://nonkululekomakhubu.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-images-3.jpeg" /></a>

<span class="post_sig">Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn.</span>

My journey to becoming a teacher.

Well, growing up as a kid, I had always wanted to be a lawyer.
When I matriculated in 2009, I was so undecided and I had no idea what I wanted to study.
I had always been a fan of theory, and thus I wanted to study theology, philosophy, law, politics well and..,journalism.
So I decided to take a gap year in 2010. So I can think through on what I really wanted.
Towards the end of my gap year, I was still undecided. And this was when I met a Lady who advised me to apply for teaching, and whilst in the profession, I can think through on what I really wanted to study and then study it part-time. Plus education has no age limit! Imfundo ayigugelwa!

So I applied for teaching towards the end of 2010, and I was accepted at the University of Johannesburg.
My first year at Uj was really depressing.
Mainly because I was still getting used to the place, the lecture halls were overcrowded, I had too many modules and as a result I had difficulty managing my workload.
Making friends was easy, but finding friends I had something in common with was really hard.

During orientation classes, we were told that we will have to go for our school experience (practicum) (practice teaching), for a week, somewhere in September.
I thought teaching was only theory, no practicals.
I had always hated practicals, from in school, during biology, technology and science classes.
University made my hate for practicals to grow even more.

During my first year of school experience, my friend and I went to a primary school in Mofolo, Soweto.
The teachers there were not accommodating, they never even bothered to converse with us, they looked at us as if we were there to steal their jobs. The whole week I learned nothing, but a few teaching and classroom strategies from some of the teachers. We were not allowed to teach, but observe.

During my second year of school experience, I was to complete  5 scattered days of practice teaching in April.
Since my friend had dropped out, I decided to go alone this time, to a nearest school in Eldorado Park.
The name of the school is Eldorado Park Secondary school. It is one of the best performing schools in Eldos.

I was placed under my mentor teacher who is Mr Hendricks.
Mr Hendricks taught grade eight and nine social science.
He was very welcoming and accommodating.
He was really friendly and energetic.
His energy didn't allow me to be an observer in his classroom.
He wanted me to do something, he allowed me to teach, sign the learners books and facilitate group work.

Mr Hendricks' classroom was no ordinary classroom.
The minute I walked into his class, I realised that it was a social science class.
There were history and geography posters all over the walls.
There were flags of different countries around the globe and handcrafts e.g solar system crafts and volcano crafts made from dough and food colouring.
All these crafts were made by himself and his learners.

Mr Hendricks took three or two classes a day, whilst I took the rest of the remaining classes.
He was creative in his lessons and didn't struck me as a traditional teacher.
He had effective classroom management strategies and he managed to engage all learners in his lessons.
He didn't dominate the classroom, his lessons were learner centered and he enabled learners to explore answers by themselves, he wasn't the sole provider of knowledge.

I loved his classes, when I stood up to teach, his learners paid attention. Seemed eager to learn, and they didn't look at me as a student teacher, rather as a teacher.
It was my first time teaching, and as I was teaching, learners answered my questions, asked questions, and this shows that they are listening and want to know more.
It was really challenging but at the same time fun.

It was through this school and Mr Hendricks and his learners that my love for teaching developed.
Through this school that teaching had become a true passion for me.

Mr Hendricks enabled me to take over his classes, and I was able to employ Howard Gardner's multiple intelligences and learning styles into practice rather than learning about them.
Learners seemed interested in my lessons and they completed my classroom activities and homework.
I couldn't wait waking up each morning to teach them and learn from them.
It really was a blessing being in that school.

Then in September, for another one week, I had decided to go to a primary school in Eldorado park again.
The school is Eldridge primary school.
I received a warm welcome from the school principal and the teachers as well.
I was to teach grade 7 social sciences.

I can't remember my mentor teacher's name, but she was a nice lady, who also allowed me to take over her classes.
It was through this school that I was able to deal with diversity and inclusion.
Like the previous school, the learners came from different backgrounds, cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic backgrounds, religious beliefs, race etc.
It was a mixed school of coloureds, Indians and blacks.

During my practice teaching there, I was notified that most of the learners come from an orphanage.
During lunch breaks while conversing with learners, some of the learners came forward as the ones who were living in orphanages and how they too wanted to be teachers.
I really had difficulties teaching these learners, because most kids who come from poverty stricken families tend to zone out during lessons because of hunger.
But I managed to make my lessons interesting for them, so that they can also be engaged in the lesson.
They always loved the round robing teaching strategy as well as the jigsaw method and debates.
This enabled them to be part of the classroom, to voice out their opinions and to respect one another's views and ideas.
I also had a great experience teaching these young ones and learning from them.
There was a group of boys in one class, who were also from an orphanage.
These boys were so intelligent, a group of gifted learners who get bored in class due to easy classroom activities.
They always wanted to be challenged, and it wasn't easy for me.
I'm just saying I will never forget these boys, their intelligence was breath taking.
They knew things that I had only started learning in varsity.
This shows how I undermined the young ones.

I went to a few schools in Eldorado Park, like Silver Oaks, Kliptown Secondary and Eldomaine.
I had good and bad experiences, and each challenge that was presented my way, I allowed myself to grow from it, to reflect on my teaching as a teacher and to learn from my mistakes.

There was a learner in one of the schools, a girl. A grade nine girl.
Well, most of us student teachers were notified about her when we got to the school.
That she was rude, a bully and normally didn't attend classes.

I was to spend seven weeks in that school, and I was only able to see the girl after two weeks when she finally decided to come to school.
One day, I had an encounter with her while I was teaching.
She didn't have a textbook nor an exercise book in front of her, but she was busy with Math work in my class!
I asked her nicely to stop what she was doing as it was a social sciences classroom and share a seat with someone who had a textbook.
She got annoyed and started to verbally attack me.
For five minutes I was trying to calm her down, but the more irritated she became.
I then decided to ignore her and teach.
Luckily the vice principal was outside and decided to send the learner for detention.
The learner blamed me for getting her into trouble. And she promised to whoop-my-arse.
When I told the other student teachers about the incident, they were convinced that she was going to beat me since she was coloured and reminded me of how dangerous coloured were/are.

This incident reminded me of a teacher who was shot by a pupil, and how we as teachers have no rights in the education system, that no matter how wrong the learner is, in the eyes of the education system in South Africa, the learner is always right.

I wasn't phased, and just because many teachers see her as a bad learner, I was willing to teach her.
I made sure that I included her in my lessons.
For four weeks teaching her, I managed to focus on her strengths , on what she's good at rather than her weaknesses.
And it was through this that I was able to form a good teacher-learner relationship between me and her.
And during my last week of school experience, she was well behaved towards me.

I'm trying to say that it is not easy being a teacher.
You have to be able to deal with learners from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, gifted and slow learners, disruptive and shy learners, at the end of the day, all these learners have needs and they need to be met.

I also had incidents with older boys, who had  a problem distinguishing between a teacher and a learner.
Boys who were on drugs and came to school high.
These are just some of the challenges that we the young and new teachers in the profession have to deal with.
And I believe that we will grow from these incidents and challenges.
And I believe that we too, as our former mentor teachers and teachers we will be able to create a safe and conducive learning environment for both our learners and ourselves.

None the less, I think I'm ready to become a teacher now.

Teenage pregnancy.... I just don't get it.

Looking back now, I realised that I almost had a baby at the age of  13.
Yeah, at the age of thirteen.
My friends and I were playing "house" when I was playing the mother and the other guy was playing the father, while the rest of the kids were either my children or neighbours.
My 'husband' and I had found a perfect spot for us to make out. My husband was 16 and I was 13.
I began my periods when I was in grade 4. I was very young and confused. I didn't know what to do since I wasn't staying with my parents. My parents never warned me about what was going to happen now if I sleep with a boy. Dumb as I was, I knew nothing about pregnancy, condoms or sexual inter course. No one sat me down and told me these things, I had to learn them myself.
Anyway, as my 'husband' and I were about to make out, I heard my granny's voice calling me into the house as it was late.
Saved by my granny, yeah. And I'm really thankful for that or I was going to fall pregnant, no doubt.

I'm 23 years old now, and I hardly have plans for my life, and since I need my parents approval on some of the things, since I hardly can make decisions for myself ,why would I want to have a baby now?
I live under my parent's house, eat their food, sometimes get my taxi fare from them, if I can't afford to buy myself a loaf of bread, how can I afford to buy baby formula? Diapers? Medication? And clothes?

My mom fell pregnant when she was 17, she explains to me and my siblings how tough it was for her, but she never taught us consequences of sex. My older sister was 25 when she fell pregnant, she's 27 this year, good for her, and I respect that she was able to abstain till she was old enough to make her own decisions.

I see girls my age, having two if not three kids. I chose my path, and I focused on education more than I did on other things. I had my first intercourse when I was 19 going on 20. And I'm proud of myself because I did not, and still do not live the life of fitting in and impressing others.

There's a very high rate of teenage pregnancy all over the world. There are shows like teen moms, 16 and pregnant that many teenagers can watch and see how hard it is to have a baby at a younger age.
Teenagers today are fortunate enough, they are being taught about the consequences of unprotected sex during life orientation lessons and through television.

I do not know whether they are ignorant or just choose to ignore the message.
When I was 21 put on contraceptives 'cause of hormone issues I had, I would bleed two- three weeks and the doctor said I had active hormones. I have been on contraceptives before, not because I was sexually active, but because I needed to gain weight.  Anyway, during my visits to the clinic for my injection, I realised that 80% of the females there were teenagers. Some still in their school unform, some skipped school, and they came for their injections... To prevent pregnancy.

Many teenagers fail to realise that contraceptives only prevent pregnancy but not HIV.
They would rather get HIV than fall pregnant. That's what they are saying.

I see teen mothers struggle everyday, baby daddy left them, and they are left to take care of the child all by themselves.
And some of these teenagers struggle at home, they come from poverty stricken families, they sometimes go to bed hungry, they sleep on the floor but despite the situation they are in, they go on and make babies anyway.

Some depend on the social grant which is under R400 a month, the money barely covers diapers and formula. They are forced to leave school at an early age 'cause they have to take care of the child while they barely can take care of themselves.
She throws her future away because of a stupid boy who promised her heaven and earth, and told her how beautiful and loved she is.

There's nothing that annoys me than a guy who whispers sweet nothings to me when all he wants is sex, I get out from that relationship as quick as I can. But we people are not the same, thus can't think the same, and this is why some think with their emotions rather than with their brains.

The sad reality about teenage pregnancy is that they end up wanting to have abortions. As a child I was taught that everything you do in life has consequences. My teacher told me this as I used to be a troublesome kid growing up. And this sticked  to my mind and I did almost everything with caution.

I pity mothers who have to deal with their pregnant teenagers, because as a parent it means that they have failed their jobs, which is parenting. It means that your child is now in control and you have no say. And it is sad because your child has now humiliated you, and you have no say except to accept the situation.

I had a friend who was 17 at the time she got pregnant, and  found out she was HIV positive, she had an abortion and quit school because she couldn't accept the fact that she was HIV positive. This was my best friend, I used to visit her twice a month after school , checking how she was doing and offer my support, she moved to another city and I never saw her again, I wonder everyday how she is doing.

And this made me realise that there are so many teenagers who are in the same situation as my friend was/is. And the sad thing is that, the issue of teenage pregnancy, unwanted pregnancies and HIV and other STI's is not  a new issue to us. We learn  about these issues everyday, we read about them, see them on TV's, hear them on radios , but this isn't enough to educate  our teenagers. They just seem to know better, and seem to think with their emotions, they are sexually driven, and it's their bodies, therefore no one can tell them otherwise.

Teenagers.... Both girls and boys....especially you girly, since you are the one left alone to deal with the baby, since you are the one forced to leave school. I just want to let you know that, to every action there is a consequence.
The minute you unbutton that jean/skirt, you take off that underwear, you have already made  a decision and you are now have to deal with the consequences.
Think about how you will put your life on hold, about how you will have to adapt to the motherhood from the childhood, think how difficult that will be.
Don't let a guy steal your happiness and to rob you off of your innocence.
Don't let a guy determine your happiness, just because he will dump you 'cause you won't sleep with him, then let them be.
A man/guy/boy that truly loves you will have to wait till you're ready.

Nonkululeko Evelyn Makhubu.

And this is why I hate Christmas….

I truly hate Christmas, I don’t find it as something I can celebrate or enjoy.

Many people love Christmas because it is “that time of giving”, but why only on Christmas day? Why not buy gifts during the year and give them out just because you can?

I view each and everyday as a time  of giving, I don’t necessarily have to give gifts only on Christmas.

Anyway, I’m planning on making this post as short as possible,so let’s get to the point.

I hate Christmas because I think it is for rich people.

They can afford to buy each and everything they want, Even some of the petty things they may never use, then end up discarding them in a bin.

While on the other side there are people living in shacks who can’t afford to put a hot plate on their table, who can’t afford to buy a loaf of bread on that Christmas day.

While other families are gathering around the table eating Kentucky and over the moon desserts, many families out there, someone out there is dying of hunger.

Christmas makes me think of disadvantaged people.

I’m talking about orphans in orphanages who are not sitting around the same dinner table as their families, they long for that feeling, they long for happiness, for love,and laughter, but Christmas just brings emptiness and loneliness inside them.

So many kids get to wear new clothes on Christmas day, while other parent’s can’t afford to buy their kids even a single pair of shoes. These kids  just like me (not to say I went through the same thing) end up hating Christmas, because they also want to wear new clothes, but because their parents can’t afford it, they end up feeling like outcasts.

I grew up hating Christmas because I’m a humanitarian, I don’t want to see kids suffer, I want everyone to be happy, and since kids/people from disadvantaged homes can’t get as much happiness like we ordinary people and the rich people do, it just makes me sad thinking about them.

I hate Christmas because it is a pagan holiday, many believe Jesus was born on Christmas day when in reality He wasn’t, God condemns using pagan customs to worship Him.  ‘How did these nations serve their gods? I also will do likewise.’ You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way . . . Whatever I command you, be careful to observe it; you shall not add to it nor take away from it” Deuteronomy:12:30-32

Christmas makes me thing of the sick in hospitals, the innocent in jails, eating food that is under cooked if not charred.

The sick fighting for their lives in hospital beds, thinking they might not even see a tomorrow.

The homeless, still homeless on this day, a day that many people deem as a day of celebration, a day of joy and happiness, to many out there……….. It is just a day of sorrow and strife.

Fuck Christmas.

We ngomso lam awundicacelanga ngani?

We ngomso lam awundicacelanga ngani? (my future/my tomorrow is not clear to me.)

Tonight is one of those nights I just feel emotional.

It is the festive season, and I know I should be happy and joyful, but I’m not.

2014 was a year of challenges for me, However, I knew I would survive it since I was able to survive 2012 which was a year of anger, pain, sorrow and heartache for me.

I can’t remember the last time I was happy.

As in truly happy.

No one said life was to be a bed of roses.

No one said life was easy.

And no one said it was hard too.

2014 was a year of challenges that made me question God’s existence.

That drew me apart from God.

And because of this, I saw my self as a hypocrite because I always tell people about God’s everlasting love for us.

My faith in God was shaken in a manner that I tried forcing myself to stop  believing in Him.

And I’m glad that I did not stop because I cannot imagine my life without Him.

I went through a lot of things this year.

Through a lot, and some I’m even ashamed to mention them.

But what kept me going is/was my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that kept on reminding me that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Yeah, I survived 2014.

Got four distinctions this year.

I pulled through and finally completed my final year at UJ.

Now, I don’t know what my future holds for me.

I can’t predict what will happen tomorrow.

My future/my tomorrow isn’t clear to me.

And I cant help but wonder what 2015 has in store for me.

However, I do know that my God, My Lord will not let me be.

I know that HE will hold, guide and protect me.

I know He has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11).

So since I do not know what my future holds for me, I hope and pray that God’s plan will carry me through 2015

and ensure everlasting happiness for me. (For once).

Job, king Solomon and Abraham.

Chatting inside the megabus.

On our way home from varsity.

My friend and I were talking about inspirational stories in the bible.

Stories that motivate and inspire us.

I talked of Job.

King Solomon and Abraham.

Now how do these people inspire me?

Job because he never lost his faith in God.

Through his pain and suffering that God had put him through, he was still able to praise God. He worshiped God everyday and kept his faith still.

He never lost his faith in God.

And he kept on believing that God who had put him  through so much pain and suffering, will deliver and bless him abundantly. and He did.

With us, we are too quick to cast God away, If God puts us through pain and suffering we ask God why,

We think God hates us.

And we throw insults at Him.

Forgetting to realize that we are the chosen ones.

If God enables us to go through so much pain, we should consider ourselves the chosen ones, because God knows that we are able, God knows that we can handle it, and that’s why he allows us to carry such heavy crosses because he trust we can handle it.

The story reminded me of an email I received a few years ago.

Yeah still have it :p.

Anyway, here’s the email bellow.














I like this message because it reminds us that God can never give us more than we can handle,

So go on, carry your cross with pride.

It is okay.

King Solomon.

How does King Solomon inspire me?

He wasn’t a selfish man.

He did not do things that only benefited him, but that could also benefit his people as well.

God appeared to King Solomon in a dream.

And said “ask whatever you want me to give you”

He asked for wisdom.

Now put yourself in King Solomon’s shoes.

God appears to you in a dream. says the same. What will you ask for?

Probably money/ wealth.

Probably a fancy sports car.

Probably a triple story house.

And all those things are beneficial to only YOU.

King Solomon simply asked for wisdom.

And He was the wisest man alive.

His wisdom did not only benefit him, but it benefited him and his people.

Though his wisdom, He was able to solve conflicts among his people.

Abraham.

God told Abraham to offer his one and only son, Isaac, as a sacrifice to prove his devotion to God.

Abraham did not argue.

He did not sulk.

And he was willing to offer his one son as a sacrifice until God stopped him.

Now put yourself in Abraham’s shoes.

God asks you to offer your child as a sacrifice,

or your mother,

or your siblings.

or your loved ones.

Will you  be as brave as Abraham was?

Will you be able to offer your loved ones as sacrifice to God?

Food for thought.

N.E.Makhubu.

I’m sorry.

Well, I would like to apologize to everyone that I have hurt along the journey of life.

Along My journey of life.

I have done and said stupid things in my life.

Never meant to offend anyone.

So, whoever is reading this, and I have said and did bad things to you.

I would like to say, I am sorry.

I truly am.

To my parents,

father wanted me to be a lawyer.

mother wanted me to be a doctor.

I chose to be a teacher.

I am sorry to disappoint you two.

I am really sorry.

Truly am.

To my long lost lover

To my ex-boyfriend

To my future husband.

I am sorry that I cannot, or couldn’t be the best.

I am sorry that I cannot, or couldn’t be number one in your life and heart.

I am sorry that I cannot, or couldn’t be as beautiful as you want(ed) me to be.

I am sorry that I wasn’t/ I am not enough for you,

I am sorry that I disgust(ed) you.

I am sorry that I made you cheat on me.

I am sorry that I made you spew lies to me every single day.

I am sorry,

I truly am.

To my friends.

To my ex-friends

To my future friends.

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I cannot, or couldn’t be there for you when you need(ed) me the most.

I am sorry that we never had or have anything in common.

I am sorry that I made or make you feel ashamed when you walk around with me.

I am sorry that I am not fun.

I am sorry for all the bad things I have said to you.

I am sorry.

I truly am.

To my siblings

To my cousins

I am sorry that we are hardly in touch.

I am sorry that we hardly talk to one another.

Probably because I say the mean things.

I am sorry that we hardly go out.

Sorry that I cannot be as perfect as you want me to be.

I am really sorry.

Truly am.

Make a wish upon a star- Wishing Star.

I was watching Pinocchio this morning, and ‘his’ ‘father’ wished upon a star and his wish came true. This episode reminded me of when I was young, a best friend of mine at the time asked me what is it that I wanted, and she told me to wish upon a star and my wish will come true. She told me to look for a brighter shining star and wish upon it. I wanted to see my mom so bad that night, I hardly saw her, I only saw my mom once in two months, and I felt so empty and lonely without her.

So I looked for a brighter shining star and I made my wish, I said ‘Dear wishing star, I wish I could see my mom tonight, make her come, please make my wish come true.’

She came.

I saw her.

And I was happy.

Now I’m not going to  comment on whether this wishing star theory really does work, but, I think it had worked for me a couple of times, when I was young.

I don’t know whether it was a coincidence or not, whether it was really bound to happen or whether the wishing star really made my wish come true.

Now as I grow older, I tried wishing upon a star, and none of those wishes came true.

Sometimes I never take note of whether they come true or not.

But it has been really comforting to me, It’s like I have a friend, up there, in the sky.

And it’s like the wishing stars are my friends.

Are my guardians.

And they are willing to talk to me, listen to me and help me whenever I need help.

It’s been a while since I made a wish upon the stars.

I would’ve loved to made a wish tonight, but the sky is clear, there are no stars.

Willing to wish upon a star this week, hope my friend (wishing star) will make my wish come true.

I made a wish tonight.

To a star shining so bright.

I wished upon a star.

It seemed so near, yet so far.

Now some may ask, ‘why wish upon a star when you can pray to the one who created it?’

It may seem like I am idolizing the star.

But I’m not.

Talking to the stars makes me feel like I am talking to the creator.

Like the creator is looking down on me.

Listening to me.

I know He is.

But looking at the stars is enough evidence for me to know that God is here, and He’s watching and listening to me.

It’s like the stars are the messengers.

If not God Himself.

And it is comforting to know that God is looking down on me.

And listening to me.

Growing up with Anorexia.

I was really skinny growing up, and I guess this really lowered my self esteem. Despite me being very dark in complexion, or having big eyes, my weight really lowered my self esteem. I would be teased by the colour of my skin, or by the size of my eyes, and I would take it, laughed along if the joke was funny enough, but comments made about my weight would really piss me off. People would look at me in the streets and they thought I was dying of malnutrition if not TB. This really broke my heart.

I was never diagnosed with anorexia, just by looking at me, society thought I was anorexic because I was extremely skinny. I remember praying to God, begging him to help me gain weight, but I didn’t, well not until 12 years later when I began to see some changes. And I wouldn’t say that I was anorexic, because an anorexic person doesn’t realise how skinny they are, and they don’t even want to gain weight, they measure their calories when about to eat, and they hate food. I wanted to gain weight so badly, I ate any edible thing I laid my eyes on, and I didn’t care how many calories I consumed.

Bad memories about this whole anorexia thing, was when my technology teacher, in fifth grade, used me as a skeleton model, the whole class laughed at me, and even the teacher laughed with them, then in grade ten, my biology teacher used me as an example of an anorexic person, this was one of my most embarrassing moments in life.

I was really desperate to gain weight, would do anything back then, even made a decision to be on contraceptives at the age of 16, because I heard that one normally gains weight while in them, to even think I was not sexually active at that time. I took contraceptives for six months, without any luck, then gave up. I only ate greens, dairy products and beans, believing that they would help me gain weight.

I was too tall for my weight, my bones popped out, making me look really sick. I then soon realised that I had a faster metabolism and there was nothing I could do with it.

During my first year at varsity I weighed 43kgs, and now, four years later, I weigh 65.8 kgs.

I am happy to say I survived ‘Anorexia’ :).

Bullying

So why are we blogging about bullying today?

About a week ago I was watching one of my favourite shows, Dr Phil. In his show, Dr Phil had a lovely young girl, 16 years of age, and her mother, as well as the parents of the bully. Kattie (the 16 year old girl) was bullied by a young male by the name of Nick, who was not present at the time because he was embarrassed and didn’t want his face published by the media. The young lady was constantly crying when describing how she was bullied by Nick and his accomplices. Kattie had to drop out of school fearing for her life seeing that Nick and his team threatened to kill her.

I didn’t realise that bullying was such a serious issue, that it was really there in our societies, I thought it took place in the movies, and it was exaggerated by directors. But I was wrong, bullying really is there, and it could probably be the main reason why the youngsters of today drop out of schools. I was watching Noeleen  a year ago, and she was also discussing bullying, she had victims of bullying and they were explaining how they had to drop out of school to get home schooled, how they kept on changing schools every year and how the issue of bullying was not taken seriously by the schools.

So today I am here to share my story.

After reading a lot on bullying stories, I reminisced on what I went through during my primary school years, and it is now I realise that I was being bullied all along. I never deemed this as bullying because as a child I went through a lot of things, like coming home to a drunken grandmother who would shout at me for nothing, not living with my mom, and seeing my mom like eight times a year, so it didn’t really matter what made me happy or sad.

So this “friend” of mine, who was three years older than me,we were in the same grade, she was the oldest and tallest girl in class. She formed a group of ‘friends’ which I was part of, of course, there were like eight of us in that group, and she was in-charge of the group, seeing that she was older and taller than the rest of us, and we were all scared of her. Our lunch boxes we had to give them to her so she can decide who gets how much of the food and who doesn’t get anything even if they contributed. Lunch money she decided what was to be bought and the remaining change went to her sister so they could both spend it after school.

I was the most hated person in the group because I did not always have money or lunch box, and sometimes when I had contributed, I wouldn’t get my fair share. I would get home hungry only to realise that there was no food at home, and besides, we only ate once back then, supper.

So when the “boss” of the group decided to give me a fair share of my food, I learned to realise that there would either be something wrong with it, They would send me to the shop first, giving them enough time to spit on my food, yeah I would indulge in their spit without knowing, then after I’ve finished my food they would all have a great laugh then tell me what they did to it. There were different techniques everyday, if not spitting, they would put small insects, like ants or butterflies, then they would later tell me.

Some of my friends managed to break free from her, but I couldn’t, she kept on threatening me and I knew I stood no chance and realised that I could never break free.

I remember there was a time when my mom had came to visit me at home, she brought me earrings and they were the first earrings I owned in my childhood. So I went to school the following day, wearing them, the “boss” told me how ridiculous I looked in them, she then ordered me to take them off, I just stood there and looked at her, she ordered me to take them off and carve a 2 on my forehead, I refused, that was when she decided to take them from me, till this day, I don’t know what happened to my earrings.

I wish parents, teachers, and the department of education could take the issue of bullying seriously, because not only does it lowers a child’s self esteem and make them feel worthless and helpless, it also robs them off of their future, forcing them to drop out of schools or even worse, leading them to commit/ attempt suicide.

To parents; if your child, all of a sudden does not want to go to school, it is your duty to figure out why. Children could be very secretive, go to school and find out what is happening in your child’s life, talk to the teachers, talk to the friends and visit the principal’s office if need be. Ask them how their day was like, ask what they did in class, ask who they hang around with during break, find out what they like or hate about school, don’t assume that things are alright just because they look fine to you.

Lets all take bullying seriously for the sake of our children’s future.

We don’t want a bitter and hatred driven generation

we want a better and goal driven generation.

Contentedness.

Today I asked myself if I am content with everything that I have, if I am at peace and happy with how things are working out for me. And the real answer to this question, is No. There are so many things that I wish I could change in my life, only if I had the power to. I remember  a year ago, while I was in church, Pastor Mosa Sono was preaching about being content with what one has, his words really touched me, it’s as if he was directly speaking to me.

A few months ago I bought tons of clothes for myself, seventy percent of those clothes I must say that I haven’t worn them yet. Early this year I bought a very expensive dress which I only wore once because after that I didn’t like it anymore. I sold some of my shoes and clothes on gumtree this year, and most of those shoes were still brand new, never worn. I looked at my wardrobe today, trying to figure out what to wear at my cousins funeral on Saturday, and I didn’t like what I have on display. Tomorrow my sister and I are heading to the mall, to buy a few items to wear at the funeral.

The funny part in all this is that, I always feel guilty after purchasing stuff I don’t need. But this is who I am, I am never content with what I have. I have six pairs of boots for this winter, and I still feel like I want more. My cellphone is two months old but I want a new one already, I want a bigger tv screen for my room, bigger fridge, bigger wardrobe and other unnecessary things.

I don’t know the person I am today because this is not how I was raised. My parents did their best to provide for my siblings and I, and life was much better back then, in black and white, not as demanding as it is now, what was more important to my parents was being able to put food on the table, finding permanent jobs so they could be able to send us to school and enrolling us to the nearest Sunday schools. They are still like that, leading simple lives. My dad comes home from work, takes a bath and read his bible if he doesn’t feel like listening to SA FM. My mom prepares a hot meal for the rest of the family, bathes my little brother before helping him with his homework. Then my older sister, who is 27, leading a stress-less and happy filled life. She is not after materialistic things, she still has a phone which she bought five years ago, it has no Bluetooth or plays MP3 files, she just listens to radio on her phone and she is content with that. She dresses like an old woman and she is content with that, she is not into weaves or dyeing of hair, she keeps and maintains her natural look and she is content with that.

While me on the other side I am never content with anything I have, I always want better, and I feel guilty and sad after receiving it, then I cry. In this journey I am trying to discover the real me, and today I realised that all these years I’ve been living a fake life, fooling myself into thinking that I need new and stylish clothes to feel sexy and to be appreciated by society, while on the other hand, there are orphans out there who sleep on empty stomachs, who don’t have a shelter and are denied their right to education.

These are real life issues, while I am sitting here, wanting a bigger fridge, new clothes, new phone and more pair of shoes. someone out there only needs a

Slice of bread.
Blood donor.
Organ donor.
A glass of water.
A blanket.
All these things that most of us always take for granted. And towards the end of this post, I’ve made up my mind, I am not going to the mall tomorrow to buy clothes for myself, but I will go there to buy clothes for my Older sister and her lovely daughter.

I am done trying to portray a person that I am not, I want to live my life the way I am supposed to, the way I want to, not the way society expects me to be.

The richest people in the world are not always happy and content with what they have. They dont know what happiness is, they fool themselves into believing that they are happy but they are not. They pop happy pills every five seconds because the state of contentedness is never reached. Yet at the end of the day we try to be like these people, not knowing that they wish they were like us, living a simple life, because at the end of the day, it’s the simple things that count the most.

A quote by Colin Powell.

I had to share with you guys, the poem/quote by Colin Powell which motivated me to an extent whereby I cried whilst reading this. I hope you will get motivated as much as I was.

Thank you, Enjoy.

“The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An
important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative
thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will
change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you
to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to
crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that
don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems
with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who
never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has
a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the
bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone
who’s not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful
where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the
person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you
will learn how to soar to great heights.
“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the
kind of friends he chooses.”

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
closely associate – for the good and the bad.

Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends.
Yes…do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will
always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first
and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and
will fit somewhere in the criteria above.

“In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends.”

“Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them.”
“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things,you develop the habit in little matters.
Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude..”..”
― Colin Powell

My favourite poem.

This is one of my favourite poems, I watched this video of Jeanette Iks on Youtube last year, didn’t really like it. so i decided to download the audio version of it, Listened to it this morning exactly after 9 months, Must say I am really in love with this poem. I remember my sister telling me how beautiful and touching it was, did not care to listen to it, till today and it bought tears in my eyes.

Hope you will enjoy it like i did.

You can watch the video here.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyXSFnZijSs



I posted the lyrics in case you would like to read them.





31 TO BE EXACT

And God said, “It was not good for man to be alone”,
So he created YOU
But somewhere along the lines
Someone changed your perspective
Shifted your view, like Eve.
You listened to the wrong voice
And took a huge tasty bite of deception
Now your stomach is upset
Because your spirit won’t digest it
No longer the woman that walks in the confidence
Of Ultimate artistic design
Submit your name change
We’ll call you Compromise
This is what happens when the Gospel
is according to whoever sits at the top of your playlist
and the media has become your bible
searching scriptures of magazines
being told you are dancing lead in Satan’s recital
But you are not her and she is not you
Cause we are called to so much more than
Make-up, hair, clothes and shoes
And dropping it like it’s hot even if we’re able to
We are women of a different status, 31 to be exact
We are content with not looking like anyone else
because we know our differences
are not a reason to be jealous, but God’s fingerprint
Don’t run around talking about how they are no good men
Because we know if we apply half as much effort on the inside
As we do on the out, we’ll stop drawing the wrong attention
Slow to speak, quick to listen.
Receiving intervention from a higher dimension
Seeking purpose, watching our God given visions
Come to fruition, never forgetting,
That we have been forgiven much
So we eat, we live, we breathe,
We give, we even sweat LOVE
Always ready to hear from the women with silver hair
Seeds have been sown and their wisdom
Saturated our soul, clipping our dead ends for growth
You’ll find us always promoting unity, serving in our community
Using our gifts and talents as an all glory to God opportunity
Wake up in the morning with a grind for the most High on our mind
Constantly being refined to be the exact of our architect’s design
We have no hearts, here’s the answer before the question
Any man that wants a heart will go to Christ knowing that it’s in his possession
Yes we are Beautiful and bare foot in the kitchen of grace
Pregnant with purpose, begging to Praise, Jesus is who we crave,
Awaiting to come to full terms so we can deliver back what has been deposited
Knowing good and well, one day we all will be audited
Mercy gives us second chances so we aint receive but we ought to get
We needed an intervention; Christ came to do lost prevention
On a cross he was stretched and fully extended
And we, we were given an extension, hear me
An Extension, hear me,
Because this price was worth far more than your finest Indian Remy
I know we can change the things we don’t like all for a simple cost
But Botox, Lipo and Implants aint got nothing on what was accomplished
On that cross
Because you can’t implant in yourself a new spirit
Or Lipo suck away your sin, you can’t lap band your addictions
And you can’t Botox away your depression
We All need Him
It’s time to change your status
Thirty one to be exact
Don’t be afraid of what’s abstract, let the Spirit of God be what attracts
We are women of a different status, this world we will impact
We are women of a different status, thirty one to be exact.