A new fresh start

I used to be a fitness fanatic, conscious of what I ate, I used to go to karate classes, dance classes and participated a numerous times in the walk the talk 702. I got depressed and gave up on myself, I gave up on life, and stopped doing the things I loved... that was in 2012. 

I felt like I was constantly walking in darkness, trying to find my way out, but I was trapped, and I would find myself crawling back to my dark hole. I would cry myself to sleep every night, my pillow was my solace, it knew my pain and suffering.

I was an emotional wreck,  I gave up on God, I tried to quit varsity, I couldn't face the world anymore, it was so dark and gloomy. I wanted to dig myself a hole and never emerge from it.

I don't know what kept me strong, what gave me hope to look forward to another day. I could have taken  my life, every time I thought things could be better, they became worse.  I kept hoping for a better day.
During that year, I lost my great grandmother,that was not the cause of my depression, she was old, 97  years old, always in pain, she couldn't do anything for herself, and she was longing for God to take her. I cried, I had spent a lot of time with this person, all my life to be precise... for her to leave me. 

That year I lost a best friend, she was also not the cause of my depression, I cried when she moved to another country, even though we speak through emails, it's not the same, and I found myself longing for her, feeling lonely without her, she was like a sister to me... haven't seen her since.

Whenever I lose someone I was once connected to, I cry, even if I've know them for a couple of days, weeks or months, I cry, and it takes me a while to forget about them, hence I try my out most best not to get too emotionally attached to them, I miss them in a way that I can't comprehend.

So... I'm dedicating this year and the rest of my life to stay healthy and happy. Though I cannot predict what tomorrow holds, I can only Hope that I don't become that emotional wreck I was a few years ago. I want to be happy, and healthy.  This means, going back to my dancing and running, eating my greens and drinking more water. Morning walks also help me connect with God. I dedicate this year to God, peace, health, wealth and happiness.
So I had decided to cut my hair on the 2nd of January this year, the last time I did, I was in grade 5... primary school. I felt like I needed a change, I wanted something new, fresh, and I'm embracing my short hair! Planning on keeping it short for a while, I think this hair cut suits me, your thoughts? 

Stay blessed!!!

[Makhubu Nonkululeko Evelyn]