Update on my work

This blog post was rouge posted on the 29 of October 2017 on WordPress...
[ https://nonkululekomakhubu.wordpress.com/ ]

I know that I haven’t updated my blog for a very long  time. I was lazy and busy but I’m back and I hope that my readers haven’t given up on me.

The last time I blogged was in July 16 2016… I haven’t abandoned my blog, will not. I actually enjoy writing and reading what I write. 

So let me quickly update you on what I’ve been up to.
Nothing much…

 I only realised now how much I love my job, actually, I’ve been enjoying what I do since July last year. I’m teaching grade 10’s, these learners are always challenging me, intellectually. I learn something new from them, everyday. They are actually keeping me on my toes. 

Teaching is a demanding job, one has to prepare lesson plans daily, ensure that in my lessons I include all learners from different socio-economic backgrounds, learners with barriers to learning, gifted learners, ill disciplined learners and learners who have emotional and behavioral disorders. It’s tough… really, but I enjoy what I do. As a teacher, my role is to evaluate each child’s individual needs and strengths. Then I develop  strategies that will include all my learners from diverse backgrounds.

One class has an average of 45 learners, big group of learners, But quite manageable. Per class you would find that there are two or three boys who are ill disciplined… always disrespectful, disruptive and never complete their work. I still haven’t mastered strategies of dealing with such learners. I always try to calm them down, give them leadership roles within the classroom but it does not always work. The last thing I want to do, is to send a child outside the classroom. They are at school to learn and it’s  my role as a teacher to ensure that their needs are being met.
I remember when I started teaching, I was young, shy and clueless. I didn’t have that confident of standing in front of my learners and teach. They didn’t like me then, almost all of them because I had replaced their favorite teacher who went to study further. So most of them were upset. I used to  come home from work crying, cause  I couldn’t take the abuse I was getting from them, but towards the end of the term, they had learned to love and appreciate me, and I have learned to claim my position as a teacher and teach them.
The hardest part about my job is not having to deal with disobedient learners, preparing lesson plans, marking over 350 scripts x6, having to deal with colleagues or take the abuse from learners.

The hardest part about my job is in finding the root cause of their contumacious behavior. What they tell me, is beyond me. They happen to leave me helpless and they make me realise how cruel the world is.

I love kids, I really do. I believe in them, I believe that they will be the ones fixing our forefathers mistakes, our mistakes if ever we fail. I believe that they have the capability of changing the world to the better, of rewriting history rather than only learning from it.

Our children are going through a lot, I’ve stopped questioning them about their backgrounds because whatever they tell me, leaves me emotional and powerless.

Learners are being raped on a daily basis by people they trust, their fathers, brothers and uncles. Some are HIV positive, and they have to live with this virus for the rest of their lives. Some deal with abusive parents, step parents and other relatives who are supposed to be loving and protecting them, but they leave these children broken and shattered. Some.. It’s just external environmental factors… gangs, crime, poverty and peer pressure. I pray for them everyday, to find peace in their lives, to heal, to find God.  I pray God hears their cries and protects them, I. Pray God rescues them from whatever situations they face. I pray God have mercy on them. Most importantly, I pray that they never lose faith in God because without Him, we are lost. I pray that God shows them that He’s a miraculous working God, He can turn our pain into gain, our suffering into joy, we just need to focus on Him, He hears our cries, and like He said, He will never leave nor forsake us. 

I understand that, before we get to our breakthroughs, we first have to come across potholes, raging waters, disappointments and the state of giving up because all hope is lost, but what some people go through, is unbearable. Especially children. They are the most vulnerable ones, and they are mostly the ones who commit suicide. 

I’m scared, I’m scared that one of my learners will not be able to handle what they go through, and they end up taking their lives. That’s why I pray for them, I’ve fallen in love with my learners, all of them. I make sure that every morning I get up I pray for them, we pray together in the classroom and I pray for them when I’m about to sleep.

Prayer… can move mountains. 

Now if prayer can move mountains, imagine how it can change someone’s life around. It is important to pray for one another, to pray for people we don’t even know, for it is in prayer that we have union with God.
If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear. But certainly God has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, Nor His mercy from me! – Psalm 66:18-20

Nonkululeko Evelyn Makhubu.